because nini was a huge part of his identity for such a long time, and starting theatre for her, while he likes it, is another thing he took on that’s “hers” in a way. and yes- before he can do that he’s actually going to need to be a little more selfish outside of the relationship. he throws himself wholeheartedly into these romances, and he needs to learn how to make room for himself within them. I’ve seen people call ricky selfish a lot, but i would make the argument that he’s really not been selfish in terms of his relationship.
In his opinion, fucking somebody more than twice gave them hope that he fancied the person back which wasn’t the situation. He wasn’t keen on starting a new relationship, the last one he had was stressful enough. One thing Heeseung didn’t do was to fuck the same person more than twice. He didn’t want to fuck somebody in front of the camera, at least not at the moment. When they did know, they wouldn’t shut up asking Heeseung about doing a stream together, which he politely declined. Not everyone who slept with Heeseung knew he was a camboy. Rumors said that he certainly knew what he was doing. And of course, being the campus heartthrob it got everybody talking. He had his own shares of hookups and one night stands here and there.
Heeseung wasn’t a person to sleep around for most of the time but of course, he wasn’t totally against it. He loved all the attention he was getting, he adored every single one of his viewers but there would be times where his hands wouldn’t be enough to get the job done, he missed the real deal.
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